About Humanist Weddings
What is a humanist wedding?
A humanist wedding ceremony is a non-religious wedding that focuses on the couple - their love story, the life they’ve lived and their shared values – rather than religious beliefs or traditions. It’s personal, meaningful and completely unique to the couple getting married.
Such a wedding doesn’t have to follow strict, worn-out tropes but is structured to how the couple want it to be – including celebrating culture, roots and heritage in a way that other ceremony types “don’t allow”. It’s an occasion where everyone feels completely welcome and inclusive, regardless of faith or beliefs.
Why choose a humanist wedding ceremony?
A humanist wedding ceremony is unlike any other and is completely bespoke for the couple in question. It will reflect your values, your relationship and your story. There is no set script, so I start from scratch each time. The backbone of the ceremony is your love story and I work with you to tell it in exactly the way you want it to be told. It can be humorous, quiet, intense, emotional, or a combination of those and many other adjectives – it’s utterly up to you. It’s my job to get that story out of you and tell it in a way that makes you happy.
You get to decide on every aspect of your wedding. Unlike a church service, for example, where the couple spend almost the entire time facing away from their friends and family, with a humanist wedding the couple normally faces those attending, so they really get to feel the love in the room. Religious weddings also generally give you an extremely limited choice when it comes to your vows (“I, N, take thee, N“ etc etc)– with our ceremonies, you can write your own vows to make the whole occasion even more meaningful and beautiful. You can choose any music that you want, have any readings that you like from any source material (poems, song lyrics, your own words), and involve as many of your friends and family as you want in the ceremony. You can have symbolic gestures (see FAQs), you can even have the rings brought out by your pet dog Gary if you like (other pet names are available) – the sky really is the limit! And as your celebrant, I’m here to help you every step of the way.
I should also point out that humanist ceremonies are inclusive of all backgrounds, identities and beliefs. They’re ideal for anyone wanting a wedding that’s deeply personal and also respectful of diverse values. All humanist wedding celebrants are very happy indeed to conduct same-sex weddings and vow renewal ceremonies.
What about a Registrar marriage?
As per the Humanists UK website, a registrar marriage ceremony is a civil ceremony conducted by a government-appointed registrar. These ceremonies must adhere to legal requirements and are typically held at a registry office or a licensed venue, such as an authorised hotel or country house. While some personalisation may be possible, there are restrictions on content so, if you want to add some of your own vows, you’ll have to have them approved by the registrar first. Registrars conduct multiple weddings in a day so ceremony times and formats are usually standardised, making the experience somewhat formal and structured. You may find that the registrar does not have availability for your preferred date or time at your wedding venue, or at the registry office.
One important thing to note is that you are unlikely to meet your registrar before your wedding day, or have a say in who conducts your ceremony. You won’t be able to talk through any ideas for your ceremony in advance so there may be little opportunity to build a relationship with the person officiating your wedding. This can feel impersonal for some couples.